Homesick

When the Light is too bright.

"What?"

"I said, 'Why are you just standing there?' Jeez!" Luna swung the bucket she carried over her shoulder. "Qwaer." she said just before walking off. Elenwe glared at the past path of Luna. Her favorite 'pet-name' for Elenwe. 'Qwaer', 'strange one' in Moon elvish. Elenwe slowly began to walk to the front entrance of the Last Homely House, walking by the edge of the forest. The rays of the sun danced about through the leaves in the shade created by the thick braches. How long had Elenwe lingered in the doorway of the cottage? She looked up and the shine caused her to winch and raise her hand to block her face. She stopped as she came to the turn which lead to the main entrance. She stared at the wonderful designs of Rivendell's walls and foundation. Imladris. She stood for awhile merly staring til time floated back into her mind. Again she had no idea how long she lingered. Elenwe sighed as she heard horses arrive beyond the corner.

"I'm late." Jogging into the court entrance, the sight of two white and grey horses and two blonde elves met her eyes. The guards greeted them and they dismounted with a simple bound. Elenwe walked up, expressionless. "Mae Govannen, Legolas... Iodhil. I take it the trip from Mirkwood was as boring as usual?"

"One could say it was worse." said Iodhil tartly. Legolas chuckled.

"Oh, it's not that bad. You should have seen it though, Elenwe! ...He was riding and decided to take a 'short cut'...which lead right into a swarm of bees!" Elenwe turned to Iodhil.

"You and Harma are alright, arn't you?" Iodhil nodded irritatedly while Harma neighed at his impatient master. Legolas still snickered, but seeing Elenwe's unchanged face and the odd look in her eyes, he stopped.

"Is everything alright, Elenwe?"

"Huh? Yes...everything is fine. Why?" Legolas told her to not mind, but there was somthing he felt he couldn't out his finger on.

"Enough of this..." Iodhil said, "I'm going to get some tea with the others." He started up the steps.

"I think Lindir, Meahan, and some of the others are taking tea in the lounge." Iodhil waved back at Elenwe and Legolas took her hand.

"Then let us join them." They said nothing more as they made their way to the lounge. Indeed quite a few of their friends were there. Lindir, Kerowyn, Meahan, Sanarium, and Searyn were sitting about conversing.

"Ah, so you two are back?" said Meahan upon their arrival. Sanarium handed each a cup, but Elenwe refused it. "Come sit. You must be tired of riding. It seems you do it so often."

"Not as much as it seems, however." retorted Iodhil as he sat. Legolas remained on his feet, while Elenwe sat beside Meahan.

When the Dark is too far away.

"So, anything new?" Lindir started the topic. Iodhil sighed.

"Well, Ada has been asking me about plans of the future... I think he's sceeming something." Elenwe blinked and thought a moment.

"Oh... So he's begun pessuring you with Tennmetyen Geth?" She interjected. Everyone stopped and stared at her. Elenwe returned the confused expression. "You are nearing 400 years... Arn't you, Iodhil?" Iodhil nodded, but it helped nothing. ".....You know... Gret skitsker? ..........Perhaps not..." Elenwe looked down into her lap. Just as Lindir opened his mouth to ask a question, Luna walked in.

"Ah, tea..." she picked up a cup and took a large sip. "Oh, Elenwe.... Elrond and Glorfindel wanted to see you about something." Elenwe hesitated then quickly left for Elrond's study. Everyone looked at the door as she went. Luna looked about. "What's with all of you?"

"Well... I think we were just witness to Drow Custom Confusion." As Iodhil came to call it since Elenwe's dancing lessons. Only it baffled them, for Elenwe rarly, if ever at all, spoke of her home or her people's customs, much like Luna. Elenwe rapped on the great door and could hear Elrond's voice beckon her. She entered and saw the twins to her right doing something or other with scolls, of course by their father's request. Glorfindel stood by the desk, where Elrond sat.

"Ah, Elenwe, there you are...." said Elrond. "Glorfindel and I need you to clear up something for us."

"Elrond and I were debating how far your homeland might be from here and to what direction it's in. Could you tell us where it lies?"

"No." Elenwe answered quickly in a firm tone with her eyes closed. The twins looked up.

"No...?" said Glorfindel, "Why not?"

"Because, I'm afraid it has nothing to do with Imladris or yourselves.... I will tell you it is a great distance from here." Elenwe opened her dark eyes and peered at the two far older elves. "But no outsider is ever told it's location." She turned on her heel and stood before the door. "Is there anything else?"

"No... You may leave." replied Elrond. Elenwe quickly left and Elladan found himself murmuring,

"What was that all about...?" Elenwe stood in the hall way facing west. She sighed, had she felt threatened by the question...?

And your mind takes flight.

Elenwe began to walk aimlessly down the hall, her mind not even considering her destination. After fifteen minutes or so she ran into an elven maiden who was quite taller than herself. She looked up into Gloredhel's face. "Juri....?" The Grey Elf merly smiled in return.

"Hey, Elenwe! ...Ye! We could use your oppinion."

"'We'?" Elenwe repeted. Kerowyn and Sanarium seemed to pop up from no where behind Gloredhel. "Weren't you two in the lounge....?"

"We were, but then Juri came and asked us for some help." Sanarium answered.

"You see," Kerowyn began the explanaion, " Juri is trying to descide on what color and style dress she should have made for the this year's up coming Feastival of the Elves... considering she'll be one of the few from Lorien actually present."

"Now," said Gloredhel. "I couldn't choose between a pale green in shall, a dark maroon in full or a silver in off the shoulder..."

"But then of course there's always the violet wrapped top." Sanarium reminded.

"But we still have to take into consideration what we'll wear to the feastival." They all turned to Elenwe.

"So what do you think?" they said in amazing unison. Elenwe blinked, startled and merly looked at them.

"Huh? Uhhh.... I... I don't really have an oppinion....I guess I... I guess they're all fine." Stammered Elenwe. "I have to go though, sorry." with that she rushed away. Dresses? Was that what they were speaking about? Or were they talking about when to wear them or--? Elenwe didn't know. Why had they asked her anyway...? She wasn't to great at the girlish thing even though most of her friends were. Save for Luna, or course. Luna.

Her friend brought numerous new thoughts to her mind.

And you wish to hide in the Day.

Elenwe stepped out from under the hall into the court yard. Once again the light blinded her with furousity. She winched, but kept her eyes closed. Slowly she walked past the surrounding elves and back around the side of the walls. She walked until she felt the shade upon her eyelids and then opened them. Elenwe stood just under the coverage of the trees of the forest. A small, barly beaten path lay at her feet. It seemed welcoming. Elenwe looked up at the sunlight peeking around from the leaves above. The sounds of insects in the heat of the day became audible and the volume of their melody increased. The more she looked at the sun the more she wanted to get away. Though she stood still, inside she was thrashing around in uncomfort. Why did sunset have to be so far away? But even then that would be a problem. Elenwe suddenly averted her eyes to the path once more and began to run down it. She looked to where the path would lead, but it made no difference, the only changes along the way were placment of shadow and stones. Her lungs quickly filled with air and collapsed.

Back within the walls of Rivendell Gloredhel, Kerowyn and Sanarium returned to the lounge, where the others had remained. Shortly they were joined by Glorfindel, Elrond and the twins. All took tea, save for Elrond, who sat beside the window staring at the ground.

"Ada?" There came the sound of a familiar voice that woke him from thought. He looked to Elrohir. "Is something troubling you?" He was conserned.

"Yes.... Elenwe..." Glorfindel and the twins nodded. " You see, when we called her in we asked her if she could tell us the location of her home... but she denied our request with a decent bit of hostility..."

"I'm also troubled..." said Sanarium. "We ran into her in the hall and she seemed... incomplete, as though she were not all there before us."

"Yes. She probably didn't hear what we said." agreed Kerowyn. Iodhil hopped in.

"Don't forget about Tennmet... whatever she said..." Elrond shook his head.

"She shows no signs of physical illness that we can guess... but perhaps.... no, I cannot jump to any conclusions."

"What? Do you think you know what is wrong with her, Ada?" asked Elladan.

"I might... It seems familar indeed."

"Then? ...What do you think it is?" persisted Legolas.

"It's not my place to say at this time." finished Elrond. Luna stared at Elrond with a knowledge the others didn't posess. Lindir took a great drink of his tea and returned it to the table.

"You know... I bet it's just raging hormo--" He was cut off by Kerowyn sticking a pillow in his mouth.

When the Shadow beckons.

Elenwe reached an unknown area. She came out of the forest onto a small, grassy bank beside the river. Probably far from Rivendell she thought. Elenwe came to a stop here and bent over, supporting herself with her hands on her knees. As she breathed hard, she looked about and realized she had been here before. Various times, in fact. Mostly with Legolas, but that was still second to alone. Or had Legolas even been here with her that often, or was it once? Her eyes met the firery orange ball of light that hung on the horizon. Sunset. Finally. But it was not enough. 'Give me night...' she thought. 'Make this day of irritablitiy and confusion end faster... I want to be away from that... in a nice, cool, dark place, like this forest at night.' Elenwe found herself thinking this as though she might find another murmuring it. She stood up straight and sighed.

"Why...? Why am I like this today...?" she said aloud. She turned from the view, which merly reflected the light with water and looked at the forest. Against such flame it looked like a shadowy haven. Perhaps if she found the right shadow she could have a little peace? She wandered back into the forest a few steps and stood behind a tree. She sighed heavily. "Still. ...........It's still not..... dark enough...."

When the Stars gleam.

Legolas waved good night to Kerowyn and Lindir as they retreated to their chambers, they others doing so earlier, he was left alone. He breathed in deep the sweet and crisp night air. Closing his eyes he let his feet take him where they would and they lead him down into the vast court yards of his second home. There he stood and watched the shining water run gracfully down into the pool within the large foutain he faced. Suddenly deep, but slight movment caught his eye in the shadow. Elenwe slowly walked forth staring at the groun as she went.

"Elenwe...?" Her head lifted up in surprise.

"Huh? Legolas...? What are you doing out here?" Legolas saw that her eyes were still dark and strange.

"Perhaps.... Nothing. You?" He returned raising a single eyebrow.

"Well... I'm ...not sure really... perhaps nothing as well." she said tiredly. She came and sat upon the large rim of the fountain which doubled as a rounded bench, looking up into the sparkling stars.

"Elenwe..." Legolas began again, "The others and I have discussed it and agreed that you're... acting purcular today..." Elenwe said nothing. "Are you feeling unwell, is something bothering you?" Silence.

"I don't," Elenwe finally spoke. "I don't know.....But I suppose that the stars might help me feel more normal." Legolas sat beside her and scearched for various constalations in the sky in another silence. He wondered if this was helping ease Elenwe's mind.

And your heart reckons.

She sighed heavily to the surpise of Legolas. "This is only making me more... whatever I am cause I can't enjoy it.... Not even... the night is helping." She brought her knees up and rested her chin upon them.

"Why don't you try to describe how you feel?" he suggested.

"........I'm not sure. I can't focus on anything going on around me. ...My thoughts.... they escape me into places I can't remember when I suddenly come to. .....In the day I ached for shadow, but this.... It's not the same... And even the stars shining so brightly only fill me with a greater longing and despair."

"Longing for what?"

"I... I don't known..." A sudden idea popped into Legolas's head. It just might distract her from this strange state of mind, he thought.

"Hey, Elenwe.... Why don't you tell me about your home?" A sudden ringing met her ears and she felt as though she had been stabbed.

"What?" she forced in surprise.

"About your home!"

"Well.... It's... It's called Durbar. And I suppose it's unknown to you, or at least now I see, that the tradition of Tennmetyen Geth is strange to you."she said all in a whisper almost inaudible to him.

"That's what you asked Iodhil about before, isn't it?" Elenwe nodded.

"It's the tradition that every male heir to the throne must be married by the age of 400. ...It keeps the royal blood line in tact."

"What about the Feastival of the Elves? I know you don't have one of those."

"No. But we do have Night Feastivals quite frequently." Legolas noticed a spark in her eyes. "They are filled with every more music, dance and song than yours are. But it's never tiresome." A small smile rippled upon her lips. "The best is probably Nubre Mare...." She took in a long deep breath of the cool air. Again they did not speak for a few moments.

"Well," said Legolas as he stood and stretched. "I think I'll go to bed now. You too?" Elenwe nodded, Legolas kissed her on the forehead and they parted.

And your Thoughts are dreams.

Elenwe closed the door gently to the cottage, she had no idea if Luna were awake or not. Either way noise would not make her happy. She crept past all the trappings of the their home and made her way to her bed room. She quickly removed her belt, boots, gloves, leggings and long arm warmers, leaving merly her strapless and mid thigh 'dress' of dark emerald green. She found herself suddenly overcome with the desire to sleep and was to wery to change to her night robes. She lay herself upon the bed and closed her eyes within moments she was in a chaotic dream world conflicted with that which had been bothering her all day to even her confusion. Most of all, through all of the bitter and the sweet memories, a single stood out and pained her mind. It came to her conscious that the words had been pounding in her mind all day, in his voice. Her grasp tightened on her pillow and she drew her legs closer to herself.

Luna stood in the door way, where the door was almost shut, watching. A single word came to the miserable Drow Elf's mind within all the torment of her dreams.

"Home."

Upon Luna's face a small mournful smile appeared. "...I knew it........." she whispered just before closing the door. Her friend would be fine in the morning.

Don't cry for Durbar.